dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
