i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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