i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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