He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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