So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
