are you still at the devil's house?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
