Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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