ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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