Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
