I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
