i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
