Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
