He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
