i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
