Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
