My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
