sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
