You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize