My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
