Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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