so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
