I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I need a burrito and a hug.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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