My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
