My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
