I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
