After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
