I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
