69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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