I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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