So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
