Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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