we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
