i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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