I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
