I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
