So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
