im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
