a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
