Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
