We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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