Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
