You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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