i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
