Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
