fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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