so explain again why im purple
no
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
