i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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