somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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