your thong is hanging out like whoa
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My life is pants optional.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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