I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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