We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
