i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
