I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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