i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
