We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
