so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
