who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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