I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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