Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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