they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
not ubering you a puppy
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
